Rock Lily Place Heart Notes July 2025
Grief is a very personal thing and a catalyst for healing. Grief breaks you open and if you allow it, it can be a beautiful thing. I have always believed that the one who loses a loved one has permission to grieve in the ways and emotions that come to them. For everyone, this looks and is experienced differently with no timestamp to be met. Working with clients that have experienced grief, this has been proven countless times. As I go through it now, I am rediscovering this belief.
I am on a wave after wave of sadness, disbelief, anger and then grief itself. I have experienced respite from these emotions and could laugh and enjoy my life as I did before my mother’s passing. Writing on the death of my mother and our relationship has been a cathartic process for me. I did not experience an ideal relationship with her. With work and healing on my part, I came to a place where I met my mother where she was willing to be met. Through my writing, I am connecting the puzzle pieces of events, stages, and milestones of our relationship. My writing has brought light to parts that have not made sense before but do now. I must add, the stories that were shared by my mother’s sisters were not only helpful but were an education as to who my mother was before she was my mother. I had not known this side of her, but I had my suspicions, and they were validated. Wow, the things you discover at family funerals.
With my writing and the stories my Tia’s shared, I have a deeper perspective of my mother and although there isn’t forgiveness there is a greater understanding of our relationship and her, not only as my mother but the woman she was. As I move forward, I have calm energy that I can let it all go. I don’t think forgiveness is important right now. Forgiveness will come; I have no doubt. But for today, I can readily move forward with grace and optimism knowing that we both did the best we knew how. I have a budding appreciation and gratitude for my time with her. One day, I know there will be much more.
